02 May 2007
Time: 23:27
Task: Approach attractive woman. Ask for coffee. Make her aware of your sexual intent, i.e. SOI, flirting, whatever method or name you have.
Damn, I didn't finish Day 17. I know it says you have to start again but really I'm gonna listen to the NLP phrase "there is no such thing as failure only learning lessons" This won't defeat me and you will still hear my war stories.
I walked around for my whole lunch hour not finding a single chick hot enough to go with. I sat down and used my phone for a couple minutes and decided I had to go back to work. At that point some really fit chick walked past and I felt like asking but I was already late and I had the feeling I already knew her so I just said Hi and walked on (About an hour on, I remembered I used to work with her briefly in a resteraunt). I had to work late and didn't get out until all the coffee shops were closed. I was tempted to get another train to london but it was late even by their standards so I decided to call it quits for today. One of the hardest decisions I've had to make since starting this.
I did feel like it was the end of the world when I couldn't complete it and had to work late but it really isn't so bad. I've come a long way in a short time and I woudn't have even dreamed of doing this stuff during my average day before. I will accept that I didn't make it today and start with a fresh mind tommorow(and I'm not working late!).
At one of my lowest points today I rememberred a quote from a deck of cards I own:
People like what's familiar
What you did yesterday worked well enough to keep you alive until today. This is a big success as far as evolution is concerned, so we are naturally inclined to use old habits of behaviour and thought. When you've been doing something new for a while (whether it's going to the gym, tidying your desk or changing your thinking) it's typically smooth sailing until you start to change. Then your mind sets off the alarm bells, and you may feel like you can't be bothered to do it anymore. This is a signal that you're moving out of your comfort zone. Celebrate! Pat yourself on the back! You're really making changes and you've got evidence. Now keep going!
Before I found my way into this program and some of the surrounding ideas I've met on the way, all the other ideas and beliefs that it has brought into my life, I may have taken today as a complete failure. Heck I wouldn't even be at this stage. It didn't go to plan, I wasn't happy with the results but I can't change that. You will aways fall down, it's how often and the way that you stand that counts.
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
Tuesday, 1 May 2007
Day Sixteen
01 May 2007
Time: 21:52
Today was a lot, lot simpler than yesterday! All I had to do was to ask a women or a few for a coffee inside a coffee shop and then actually sit and chat with her. The most part of today was spent finding a girl who wasn't in a big group or with a partner. I saw some girl I had fancied when I was about 6-9 and decided to chat to her as I hadn't seen her since about the same time. I invited her for coffee though I knew I couldn't count it as I already knew her even though it had been such a long time. She politely declined but took my number and gave me hers. I eventually found someone, but once I found her I walked past once and came up with an excuse. Decided to turn around walk past again this time approaching her directly and asking the fatal question... "Sure" that's it, no death defying stunts no awe inspiring pick up stories. "Hey do you mind if I come have a coffee with you?" and the response being "Sure". Now if that isn't easy then what is. It makes me wonder why I've spent all that time in the past sitting alone when I can plainly see there are people who would enjoy my presence.The conversation wasn't great to be honest but I blame myself mostly. We discussed shopping, my work and nothing all too interesting for either of us but I stayed until I had to rush off, drink in hand, back to work. Funnily enough, I didn't even buy a coffee, I actually had a drink in my pocket so just sat drinking that.
Time: 21:52
Today was a lot, lot simpler than yesterday! All I had to do was to ask a women or a few for a coffee inside a coffee shop and then actually sit and chat with her. The most part of today was spent finding a girl who wasn't in a big group or with a partner. I saw some girl I had fancied when I was about 6-9 and decided to chat to her as I hadn't seen her since about the same time. I invited her for coffee though I knew I couldn't count it as I already knew her even though it had been such a long time. She politely declined but took my number and gave me hers. I eventually found someone, but once I found her I walked past once and came up with an excuse. Decided to turn around walk past again this time approaching her directly and asking the fatal question... "Sure" that's it, no death defying stunts no awe inspiring pick up stories. "Hey do you mind if I come have a coffee with you?" and the response being "Sure". Now if that isn't easy then what is. It makes me wonder why I've spent all that time in the past sitting alone when I can plainly see there are people who would enjoy my presence.The conversation wasn't great to be honest but I blame myself mostly. We discussed shopping, my work and nothing all too interesting for either of us but I stayed until I had to rush off, drink in hand, back to work. Funnily enough, I didn't even buy a coffee, I actually had a drink in my pocket so just sat drinking that.
Day Fifteen
Hardest day so by far today out of everything I've done. The task was to ask 30 girls minimum to go for a coffee with you. The catch being that even if they said yes, you couldn't go and if you got their number you had to delete it straight after speaking to them. Today was not about stocking up on girls it was purely about asking them for coffee. It sounds so simple, doesn't it? I decided to go to Central London for this one as I don't want to be standing people up in a town the size of mine, people here tend to stay here and unlike London you can often see the same people pretty regularly and everyone seems to loosely know everyone.
Well the 2 hour max rule that has been set throughout this course I broke today for the first time... Only by a little *cough*2 hours!*cough* Seriously at the start I forgot I had any balls. It took me 40 minutes before I plucked up the courage to ask the first woman and was spending about 10 minutes at least between each one at the beginning. For the first two hours I think I managed to ask about 8 people! I was seriously getting stuck in my head and worked up over it. After stressing out and completing my little circuit for the 100th time I decided to head down to Covent Garden. I sat down for 5 minutes with a Ribena and tried some tapping (www.innergametapping.com) and some nlp/self hypnosis technique I learned from Richard Bandler. This was all well and good and I brought the time down to about 5 minutes between women. The only problem I noticed here was that as it was getting later the amount of single women was thinning greatly. It got to a point where I would have to wait ages for one to turn up and then would bottle it as I'd had too much time to think about it since the last one. When I got to a higher concentrated area I managed to ask like 5 girls in quick succession, maybe one per minute. It's worth noting here my frame was weak and everyone was saying no. There were a few pondering smiles that I'm sure I could have pushed a little further but was just too frickin scared to try. Showing direct interest before I know someone likes me has often been a problem for me and you can't really disguise asking someone for coffee as anything else. About 3 hours in I started to relax into it but there was a serious lack of single women and I was not about to approach a group in my current state. One girl seemed to have a mental battle "I don't know, I mean do you just stop people in the street to ask if they want to go for coffee?" I was on the spot me:"Why not?" her:"Oh I don't know" me getting conscious I couldn't go for coffee anyway:"Well hey, I better be going soon anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you". We smiled and parted ways. The last hour was torturous, I would never have thought it so hard to find an attractive single woman in the streets of a city as big as London but it was. Finally just over 4 hours later with 2 fresh blisters a slight limp and suffering from both mental and physical exhaustion I asked the last girl who responded with a "Not right now, no". I slumped onto my train home and began to listen to my task for the next day.
"Today is a lot simpler"
(Thank fcuk)
"You are going to do the exact same thing..."
(At this point my ipod batteries cut out and I broke into hysterical laughter to the amusement and worry of my fellow passengers)
One thing I noticed today is that whether you have a positive or negative voice in your head it's all rubbish when you come down to it. The thing that makes the difference between failure and success is your inner drive and that presence that pushes you forward past the internal dialogue at the moment of truth to think on your feet. To live in the moment regardless of what outcomes you can imagine.
P.S. Reading back through this makes it sound so simple. I guess that's because it is but I was in a whole other world when I started doing this that you wouldn't understand unless you've experienced it.
Well the 2 hour max rule that has been set throughout this course I broke today for the first time... Only by a little *cough*2 hours!*cough* Seriously at the start I forgot I had any balls. It took me 40 minutes before I plucked up the courage to ask the first woman and was spending about 10 minutes at least between each one at the beginning. For the first two hours I think I managed to ask about 8 people! I was seriously getting stuck in my head and worked up over it. After stressing out and completing my little circuit for the 100th time I decided to head down to Covent Garden. I sat down for 5 minutes with a Ribena and tried some tapping (www.innergametapping.com) and some nlp/self hypnosis technique I learned from Richard Bandler. This was all well and good and I brought the time down to about 5 minutes between women. The only problem I noticed here was that as it was getting later the amount of single women was thinning greatly. It got to a point where I would have to wait ages for one to turn up and then would bottle it as I'd had too much time to think about it since the last one. When I got to a higher concentrated area I managed to ask like 5 girls in quick succession, maybe one per minute. It's worth noting here my frame was weak and everyone was saying no. There were a few pondering smiles that I'm sure I could have pushed a little further but was just too frickin scared to try. Showing direct interest before I know someone likes me has often been a problem for me and you can't really disguise asking someone for coffee as anything else. About 3 hours in I started to relax into it but there was a serious lack of single women and I was not about to approach a group in my current state. One girl seemed to have a mental battle "I don't know, I mean do you just stop people in the street to ask if they want to go for coffee?" I was on the spot me:"Why not?" her:"Oh I don't know" me getting conscious I couldn't go for coffee anyway:"Well hey, I better be going soon anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you". We smiled and parted ways. The last hour was torturous, I would never have thought it so hard to find an attractive single woman in the streets of a city as big as London but it was. Finally just over 4 hours later with 2 fresh blisters a slight limp and suffering from both mental and physical exhaustion I asked the last girl who responded with a "Not right now, no". I slumped onto my train home and began to listen to my task for the next day.
"Today is a lot simpler"
(Thank fcuk)
"You are going to do the exact same thing..."
(At this point my ipod batteries cut out and I broke into hysterical laughter to the amusement and worry of my fellow passengers)
One thing I noticed today is that whether you have a positive or negative voice in your head it's all rubbish when you come down to it. The thing that makes the difference between failure and success is your inner drive and that presence that pushes you forward past the internal dialogue at the moment of truth to think on your feet. To live in the moment regardless of what outcomes you can imagine.
P.S. Reading back through this makes it sound so simple. I guess that's because it is but I was in a whole other world when I started doing this that you wouldn't understand unless you've experienced it.
Day Fourteen
01 May 2007
Time: 00:04
I didn't have a chance to write yesterday so I'll briefly summarise the day. The task was to start conversations with at least 30 women. It was the start of the Gumball rally which I went down to see with some friends so i did plan to use that as easy conversation but ended up sticking with friends throughout. About 6 in the evening I thought hey I need to get this out of the way so I don't start to fail here. I left my friends, I think it ended up being about an hour and started 30 brief conversations, mainly about cool places to go in London on a Sunday. One thing that I noticed when chatting to these people was that the friendliest two out of the whole bunch actually happened to be two of the fittest as well. I got a few recommendations but didn't really have any good conversations at all. The main thing I got out of yesterday is that I started them all at least.
Time: 00:04
I didn't have a chance to write yesterday so I'll briefly summarise the day. The task was to start conversations with at least 30 women. It was the start of the Gumball rally which I went down to see with some friends so i did plan to use that as easy conversation but ended up sticking with friends throughout. About 6 in the evening I thought hey I need to get this out of the way so I don't start to fail here. I left my friends, I think it ended up being about an hour and started 30 brief conversations, mainly about cool places to go in London on a Sunday. One thing that I noticed when chatting to these people was that the friendliest two out of the whole bunch actually happened to be two of the fittest as well. I got a few recommendations but didn't really have any good conversations at all. The main thing I got out of yesterday is that I started them all at least.
Sunday, 29 April 2007
Day Thirteen
29 April 2007
Time: 10:33
Task of the day again sounds a lot simpler than it actually is, you must go into a strip club. The catch is that you must sit/stand there without paying the slightest bit of attention to the strippers or any woman there, not even looking at them. To aid me with this I brought along Derren Browns book "Trick of the mind", I don't know what I would have done without this. The trains were not running so had to get a replacement bus service and spent about half hour trying to find the place once there. So, I go into the club and ordered a large lemonade and lime feeling shit scared about what everyone would think of the weirdo I was being. As it was not the typical environment where they come over and chat with you as others are dancing and try and befriend you as well I decided to sit at the very most front point of the place to make it as awkward as possible for me and began reading my book. Towards the start I was only managing to read a couple lines before my thoughts were breaking in imagining all these different scenarios, getting thrown out, being called on by others or the stripper thrusting herself in my face as I try and ignore her and read, hey that one wouldn't have been so bad... As the next stripper came on everyone prepared their pound and so did I but did not even look at her as I gave it to her, just held it up. I completely lost my focus at that point though and became very wary of my surroundings, I wasn't looking at anything but felt very present and very self conscious. Some way through this dance the guy next to me goes "Must be a good book mate" and somebody to the other side of me goes "It must be fcuking brilliant book". My response was to look up and smile and say oh it's fcuking amazing in the most sincere voice I could muster. So this continued and I started to ease into it.
I had set myself the task of staying for an hour or until I finished the book whichever came first but I was completely cut off from reality by about 30 minutes in. I was there in the sense that I could hear people chuckling on the other side of the room "He's still fcuking reading it" and was paying the girls as they came round but no interaction. I must admit there were three times I caught a glimpse of their naked bodies and damn I can remember each exact picture so vividly but I looked away the instant I realised what I had seen. By the end I really didn't care what anyone thought and closed my book, stood up and walked out without a word. Now something unexpected had happened. When I came out I was so tense you would not believe and I felt like sh!t. I really felt awful. I didn't like the feeling I had as I came out there and though I had completed the task felt slightly indifferent to it all. I'm not suite sure what happened really. As I sat on the bus on the way home I listened to a really good jumpstyle set on my phone and my mood started to rise and I felt waves of relaxation running through my body (remembering this is pounding techno music stuff, not really meditation music) and by the time I got off I felt so happy to just be out in the world. I went to meet with some friends for a night out and just felt so hyped up by everything normal that you wouldn't believe I was chatting to everyone and just had a generally great night, best night I've had in a long time.
Time: 10:33
Task of the day again sounds a lot simpler than it actually is, you must go into a strip club. The catch is that you must sit/stand there without paying the slightest bit of attention to the strippers or any woman there, not even looking at them. To aid me with this I brought along Derren Browns book "Trick of the mind", I don't know what I would have done without this. The trains were not running so had to get a replacement bus service and spent about half hour trying to find the place once there. So, I go into the club and ordered a large lemonade and lime feeling shit scared about what everyone would think of the weirdo I was being. As it was not the typical environment where they come over and chat with you as others are dancing and try and befriend you as well I decided to sit at the very most front point of the place to make it as awkward as possible for me and began reading my book. Towards the start I was only managing to read a couple lines before my thoughts were breaking in imagining all these different scenarios, getting thrown out, being called on by others or the stripper thrusting herself in my face as I try and ignore her and read, hey that one wouldn't have been so bad... As the next stripper came on everyone prepared their pound and so did I but did not even look at her as I gave it to her, just held it up. I completely lost my focus at that point though and became very wary of my surroundings, I wasn't looking at anything but felt very present and very self conscious. Some way through this dance the guy next to me goes "Must be a good book mate" and somebody to the other side of me goes "It must be fcuking brilliant book". My response was to look up and smile and say oh it's fcuking amazing in the most sincere voice I could muster. So this continued and I started to ease into it.
I had set myself the task of staying for an hour or until I finished the book whichever came first but I was completely cut off from reality by about 30 minutes in. I was there in the sense that I could hear people chuckling on the other side of the room "He's still fcuking reading it" and was paying the girls as they came round but no interaction. I must admit there were three times I caught a glimpse of their naked bodies and damn I can remember each exact picture so vividly but I looked away the instant I realised what I had seen. By the end I really didn't care what anyone thought and closed my book, stood up and walked out without a word. Now something unexpected had happened. When I came out I was so tense you would not believe and I felt like sh!t. I really felt awful. I didn't like the feeling I had as I came out there and though I had completed the task felt slightly indifferent to it all. I'm not suite sure what happened really. As I sat on the bus on the way home I listened to a really good jumpstyle set on my phone and my mood started to rise and I felt waves of relaxation running through my body (remembering this is pounding techno music stuff, not really meditation music) and by the time I got off I felt so happy to just be out in the world. I went to meet with some friends for a night out and just felt so hyped up by everything normal that you wouldn't believe I was chatting to everyone and just had a generally great night, best night I've had in a long time.
Friday, 27 April 2007
Day Twelve
27 April 2007
Time: 18:04
Not quite sure what the purpose of today was but I went ahead and did it. The task was to east something you actually despise. The problem I had when I first got the task was that I couldn't think of any food I like. It's been a thing of mine throughout life to always go back to food I don't like and try again just to check up. So many things I used to actually hate I now like and will often choose over other things occasionally. Eventually about an hour before lunch I decided that I've never been so keen on seafood so it has to involve that. Then I remembered they do a seafood subway, Off I went. Ok so not content with that I chose the bread I like the least had nothing else that I do like in it and added some chilies as I thought maybe chili and fish will be disgusting. Then it came to the sauce and I scored. I Hate Mustard with a vengeance. I asked for extra mustard and they dolloped a load onto it. Then I asked nicely and they covered both sides of the sandwich completely in mustard. It did the trick I was feeling sick throughout but the whole experience was over pretty quick and I felt like I had cheated slightly by only buying a 6". After this I went to sainsburys and got some stuff from the salad bar. I was not hungry but really wanted to go for this mission as it seemed too easy. I made a great big bowl of these two fish pastas and then topped it off with some celery which I also don't like. It was so hard getting through that thick mess especially after the sub that I had just eaten but I did it. Again, not really sure in the point of today but I'm going to trust the people that tell me this is a good course and continue giving it my all.
Time: 18:04
Not quite sure what the purpose of today was but I went ahead and did it. The task was to east something you actually despise. The problem I had when I first got the task was that I couldn't think of any food I like. It's been a thing of mine throughout life to always go back to food I don't like and try again just to check up. So many things I used to actually hate I now like and will often choose over other things occasionally. Eventually about an hour before lunch I decided that I've never been so keen on seafood so it has to involve that. Then I remembered they do a seafood subway, Off I went. Ok so not content with that I chose the bread I like the least had nothing else that I do like in it and added some chilies as I thought maybe chili and fish will be disgusting. Then it came to the sauce and I scored. I Hate Mustard with a vengeance. I asked for extra mustard and they dolloped a load onto it. Then I asked nicely and they covered both sides of the sandwich completely in mustard. It did the trick I was feeling sick throughout but the whole experience was over pretty quick and I felt like I had cheated slightly by only buying a 6". After this I went to sainsburys and got some stuff from the salad bar. I was not hungry but really wanted to go for this mission as it seemed too easy. I made a great big bowl of these two fish pastas and then topped it off with some celery which I also don't like. It was so hard getting through that thick mess especially after the sub that I had just eaten but I did it. Again, not really sure in the point of today but I'm going to trust the people that tell me this is a good course and continue giving it my all.
Thursday, 26 April 2007
Day Eleven
26 April 2007
Time: 19:52
Ok so today my task was to go around for 2 hours and not pay attention to a single woman. I thought this would be simple just keep focused on whatever and go about my life. How wrong I was! I had to go to another city today so I tried all the way through my train journeys, but women just kept attracting my attention. Maybe because I was so idle but hey. So then I walk up and down this shopping centre and I don't know if this is my natural state or I was focused on the task but it was so hard to just focus and not let women catch my attention. By the end of the time I think I had cracked it but it was seriously challenging today.
Time: 19:52
Ok so today my task was to go around for 2 hours and not pay attention to a single woman. I thought this would be simple just keep focused on whatever and go about my life. How wrong I was! I had to go to another city today so I tried all the way through my train journeys, but women just kept attracting my attention. Maybe because I was so idle but hey. So then I walk up and down this shopping centre and I don't know if this is my natural state or I was focused on the task but it was so hard to just focus and not let women catch my attention. By the end of the time I think I had cracked it but it was seriously challenging today.
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
Day Ten
25 April 2007
Time: 18:44
Ok, so today was actually a lot harder than I expected. The task was to do the exact same thing as the day before but approaching every woman with absolutely no emotion or if I had to feel one then boredom. I'm not sure if understood correctly but this meant I was going up to women plain faced and asking them. There is that moment after they tell you when they stop for a second and look into your eyes, smiling slightly waiting for your response, the end of the interaction. I seriously felt like a bastard. I was thanking them in the most drone voice, no emotion, no nothing. In some case you could even see the kind of disapointment, I guess thinking something along the lines of "I take a moment out of my day to help you with something and you couldn't give two shits". Realise that this is what I'm imagining in my head. Dman, I thought today would be easy. Get bored and talk, but no. I was so in my head, what happens if I don't smile, sound pleased whatever. The will to be jolly or at least something in return was so strong and I was having to conciously hold back. I did crack at one point. A girl reached into her handbag, pulled out a carrier bag, pulled out a box, opened the box and showed me a watch. "I just bought it" *said whilst smiling proudly* I just cracked up laughing with her I couldn't bring myself to keep a bored emotionless face after I had just witnessed that epic adventure. Anyhow. I didn't count that one as I didn't follow the rules. I got there in the end and completed the task. I definitely was shocked though at how hard it was to stay completely emotionless throughout.
Time: 18:44
Ok, so today was actually a lot harder than I expected. The task was to do the exact same thing as the day before but approaching every woman with absolutely no emotion or if I had to feel one then boredom. I'm not sure if understood correctly but this meant I was going up to women plain faced and asking them. There is that moment after they tell you when they stop for a second and look into your eyes, smiling slightly waiting for your response, the end of the interaction. I seriously felt like a bastard. I was thanking them in the most drone voice, no emotion, no nothing. In some case you could even see the kind of disapointment, I guess thinking something along the lines of "I take a moment out of my day to help you with something and you couldn't give two shits". Realise that this is what I'm imagining in my head. Dman, I thought today would be easy. Get bored and talk, but no. I was so in my head, what happens if I don't smile, sound pleased whatever. The will to be jolly or at least something in return was so strong and I was having to conciously hold back. I did crack at one point. A girl reached into her handbag, pulled out a carrier bag, pulled out a box, opened the box and showed me a watch. "I just bought it" *said whilst smiling proudly* I just cracked up laughing with her I couldn't bring myself to keep a bored emotionless face after I had just witnessed that epic adventure. Anyhow. I didn't count that one as I didn't follow the rules. I got there in the end and completed the task. I definitely was shocked though at how hard it was to stay completely emotionless throughout.
Tuesday, 24 April 2007
Day Nine
24 April 2007
Time: 21:40
Ok so today my task was to approach 30 women again. This time whilst imagining fear for a third of them, desire for another and excitement for the final third. This exercise was designed to make me see that all these feelings have the same physiological effects on the body. This was most profound when I was approaching with excitement which at times could have easily been mistaken for fear. I still felt that I noticed differences between the three states but maybe that will come with more exposure or is just a side effect of some of the feelings associated with these base feelings. Either way it would be nice if these excercises changed slightly.
Time: 21:40
Ok so today my task was to approach 30 women again. This time whilst imagining fear for a third of them, desire for another and excitement for the final third. This exercise was designed to make me see that all these feelings have the same physiological effects on the body. This was most profound when I was approaching with excitement which at times could have easily been mistaken for fear. I still felt that I noticed differences between the three states but maybe that will come with more exposure or is just a side effect of some of the feelings associated with these base feelings. Either way it would be nice if these excercises changed slightly.
Monday, 23 April 2007
Day Eight
23 April 2007
Time 20:39
Approaching women excites me! That was the task today. Get excited about the response 30 women would come up with to your approaches today. You could use either time/post office or compliment as long as you made yourself excited about hearing their answer whatever it may be. To be honest I was feeling pretty awful today, lack of sleep, job stress and just feeling generally down. I came out of work and just got straight down to it. I used a couple of compliments with ease compared with the day when it was my task, big improvement there, Huge in fact. And funnily enough as I was imagining becoming excited about the responses I was actually becoming excited about the responses and by the end I was walking around with a huge grin on my face. I was trying to get people calling me out on stuff. I went to a couple of women and pointed at my watch saying have you got the time, holding it in their view. They were the first people to mention anything when I asked "You are wearing a watch" - "Too True" Didn't really know what to say but it didn't bother me at all. Asked another lady the time next to some huge clock in our town whilst both wearing watch and holding my phone. She actually went into her bag and got her phone out and told me. Whilst walking around later I saw her again and she smiled at me and did some weird little dance thing. I probably should have gone back to her but was still involved in the task and didn't occur to me t the time. Overall today, though pretty samey was a lot easier and more fun. More importantly I get excited when I approach women!
Time 20:39
Approaching women excites me! That was the task today. Get excited about the response 30 women would come up with to your approaches today. You could use either time/post office or compliment as long as you made yourself excited about hearing their answer whatever it may be. To be honest I was feeling pretty awful today, lack of sleep, job stress and just feeling generally down. I came out of work and just got straight down to it. I used a couple of compliments with ease compared with the day when it was my task, big improvement there, Huge in fact. And funnily enough as I was imagining becoming excited about the responses I was actually becoming excited about the responses and by the end I was walking around with a huge grin on my face. I was trying to get people calling me out on stuff. I went to a couple of women and pointed at my watch saying have you got the time, holding it in their view. They were the first people to mention anything when I asked "You are wearing a watch" - "Too True" Didn't really know what to say but it didn't bother me at all. Asked another lady the time next to some huge clock in our town whilst both wearing watch and holding my phone. She actually went into her bag and got her phone out and told me. Whilst walking around later I saw her again and she smiled at me and did some weird little dance thing. I probably should have gone back to her but was still involved in the task and didn't occur to me t the time. Overall today, though pretty samey was a lot easier and more fun. More importantly I get excited when I approach women!
Day Seven
22 April 2007
Time 18:47
The seventh task was for me to approach 30 women and try and imagine the most sexual outcome possible when approaching women to ask for the time. This was piss easy and fun. I got through this probably the easiest so far out of all my tasks and you could definitely notice the difference between this and the fear excerise. Not much more to report for this.
Time 18:47
The seventh task was for me to approach 30 women and try and imagine the most sexual outcome possible when approaching women to ask for the time. This was piss easy and fun. I got through this probably the easiest so far out of all my tasks and you could definitely notice the difference between this and the fear excerise. Not much more to report for this.
Day Six
22 April 2007
Time 18:47
Ok so today I actually completed day 6 and 7 in one against common advice but I had to shuffle things around for work so I hope it doesn't effect me too greatly.
Basically the sixth task was for me to ask directions for the post office and imagine the worst possible outcome as I did it. I noticed that this exercise got harder the longer I did it. I think somehow over time the fear was building up and becoming more real. One thing I did notice today is how silly it was trying to think up things that could go wrong when asking for directions. Really it's no big deal. I know this probably wasn't the point of todays exercise but hey that's life. I'm definitely noticing it's getting easier to approach even with the fear.
Time 18:47
Ok so today I actually completed day 6 and 7 in one against common advice but I had to shuffle things around for work so I hope it doesn't effect me too greatly.
Basically the sixth task was for me to ask directions for the post office and imagine the worst possible outcome as I did it. I noticed that this exercise got harder the longer I did it. I think somehow over time the fear was building up and becoming more real. One thing I did notice today is how silly it was trying to think up things that could go wrong when asking for directions. Really it's no big deal. I know this probably wasn't the point of todays exercise but hey that's life. I'm definitely noticing it's getting easier to approach even with the fear.
Saturday, 21 April 2007
Day Five
Well Day 5..... Damn... Day 5... I did it. Well over an hour but I fcuking did it. You would not believe how hard I found this today. "Approach 30 women age and looks regardless and compliment them on something non sexual" - It sounds so bloody simple but Damn I found it so hard. Like seriously crazy hard. When I first read it yesterday still with a bit of a buzz from yesterdays task i thought that shouldnt be too hard after all ive done all this other stuff, plus when I'm out drinking I say random shit to people all the time.
So anyway today draws around and I work in the morning and get out. I approach one girl after kicking myself for about 3 mins. Town is buzzing and I'm thinking "I can do this, so many fit lasses around" Then I get a call saying some family are over from another country so I end up spending two hours sitting with them in a coffee shop. This whole time I'm distracted thinking I need to get away and do my task, get it over with, and as the day goes on I see the amount of people lessening and lessening. I don't live in central london like a lot of people so my city does sleep. I finally get out at around 4.30 rearing to go and suddenly shit myself. I think I spent about 10 minutes before I went to the first one after the coffee and damn she was fine. When I saw the smile on her face as I payed her a compliment I knew I had to do it there was no way I was going to fail this, The sound of her voice as she replied lifted my spirits and for about 30 seconds, before I remembered the challenge, I was on a high. Following this I was having huge gaps and just couldn't bring myself to approach them. About an hour went by and I had only gone up to 8 girls! Damn with 30 mins before the centre closed I rushed around franticly trying to pluck up the courage. I got in the flow a bit and approached about 10 in relatively quick succesion. By the end I was desperate and I'm sure it was showing but I ploughed on and finally racked up the 30 requested in just over an hour and a half. The buzz lasted about 2 minutes but I am seriously shattered and my shoulders are tight. Today took it out of me for sure, I never realised it could be so hard for me to just compliment a girl. Ultimately I was still scared till the very end, though it did lessen a lot, but I did it. I bloody did it and thats what matters. I am not going through all of today to carry on and fail this course or drop out. I'm in it till the very end!
P.S. Just read tommorows excercise and believe it or not after today Im feeling good about getting scared as described in it.
So anyway today draws around and I work in the morning and get out. I approach one girl after kicking myself for about 3 mins. Town is buzzing and I'm thinking "I can do this, so many fit lasses around" Then I get a call saying some family are over from another country so I end up spending two hours sitting with them in a coffee shop. This whole time I'm distracted thinking I need to get away and do my task, get it over with, and as the day goes on I see the amount of people lessening and lessening. I don't live in central london like a lot of people so my city does sleep. I finally get out at around 4.30 rearing to go and suddenly shit myself. I think I spent about 10 minutes before I went to the first one after the coffee and damn she was fine. When I saw the smile on her face as I payed her a compliment I knew I had to do it there was no way I was going to fail this, The sound of her voice as she replied lifted my spirits and for about 30 seconds, before I remembered the challenge, I was on a high. Following this I was having huge gaps and just couldn't bring myself to approach them. About an hour went by and I had only gone up to 8 girls! Damn with 30 mins before the centre closed I rushed around franticly trying to pluck up the courage. I got in the flow a bit and approached about 10 in relatively quick succesion. By the end I was desperate and I'm sure it was showing but I ploughed on and finally racked up the 30 requested in just over an hour and a half. The buzz lasted about 2 minutes but I am seriously shattered and my shoulders are tight. Today took it out of me for sure, I never realised it could be so hard for me to just compliment a girl. Ultimately I was still scared till the very end, though it did lessen a lot, but I did it. I bloody did it and thats what matters. I am not going through all of today to carry on and fail this course or drop out. I'm in it till the very end!
P.S. Just read tommorows excercise and believe it or not after today Im feeling good about getting scared as described in it.
Day Four
20 April 2007
Time 21:10
Today I approached 30 women asking for the post office as my task requested. I decided to spice it up a bit as the main one is too easy to find, so asked if they knew one other than that. I noticed a ton of yummy mummys today, 20-30yrs with kids but fit as hell. I approached a few of those. I got hella bored by the end of today though and lost interest slightly.
Time 21:10
Today I approached 30 women asking for the post office as my task requested. I decided to spice it up a bit as the main one is too easy to find, so asked if they knew one other than that. I noticed a ton of yummy mummys today, 20-30yrs with kids but fit as hell. I approached a few of those. I got hella bored by the end of today though and lost interest slightly.
Day Three
20 April 2007
Time 21:10
OK so yesterday I had the task of approaching 40 couples whilst holding my phone and wearing a watch to ask the women directly(not the lad)for the time. I only manged to get 30 in my lunch break. I couldn't believe how many women there are on thier own on a lunch break. They've always been there i guess just never really noticed how hard it is to find a couple. I 100% asked the women every time and I would say it actually ended up about 60% men answering 30% women and 10% that claimed to not have it even as they blatently held thier mobiles, the dodgy bastards :P Today I definately got a few evils of the bloke, talk about getting worried over nothing, I definately don't want to live my life feeling that insecure. I went out especially after work to get the final 10. Over the course of 3 days I've approached 100 women. I'm hella happy but a bit tired now.
Time 21:10
OK so yesterday I had the task of approaching 40 couples whilst holding my phone and wearing a watch to ask the women directly(not the lad)for the time. I only manged to get 30 in my lunch break. I couldn't believe how many women there are on thier own on a lunch break. They've always been there i guess just never really noticed how hard it is to find a couple. I 100% asked the women every time and I would say it actually ended up about 60% men answering 30% women and 10% that claimed to not have it even as they blatently held thier mobiles, the dodgy bastards :P Today I definately got a few evils of the bloke, talk about getting worried over nothing, I definately don't want to live my life feeling that insecure. I went out especially after work to get the final 10. Over the course of 3 days I've approached 100 women. I'm hella happy but a bit tired now.
Day Two
19 April 2007
Time 07:45
Just a note as I didn't write an entry yesterday. Basically it was day 2 and I had to ask 30 girls the time whilst wearing a watch and holding my phone. I asked 30 people, maybe a couple more and found it a lot easier today for some reason. I think because I found the days task amusing I had a smile on my face the whole time so people were more open. Less people actually gave me the time today so I'm sure it had an effect that I didn't really need the time. I noticed a few people looking at my watch/phone yet still giving me the time. Trying to conciously work it all out but not quite getting there. I had one girl just blank me so maybe I could have spoken louder and commited my time a little earlier. Other than this the day was pretty uneventful.
Time 07:45
Just a note as I didn't write an entry yesterday. Basically it was day 2 and I had to ask 30 girls the time whilst wearing a watch and holding my phone. I asked 30 people, maybe a couple more and found it a lot easier today for some reason. I think because I found the days task amusing I had a smile on my face the whole time so people were more open. Less people actually gave me the time today so I'm sure it had an effect that I didn't really need the time. I noticed a few people looking at my watch/phone yet still giving me the time. Trying to conciously work it all out but not quite getting there. I had one girl just blank me so maybe I could have spoken louder and commited my time a little earlier. Other than this the day was pretty uneventful.
Day One
17 April 2007
Time 18:55
OK so today I started Demonic Confidence. I had the first task of asking 30 women the time so I decided to make them attractive women as thats who I want the confidence with. It was actually harder than I thought to find enough women I would want to sleep with from the outset in my lunch break, many today were too old. At the start it was a bit spaced out and I was getting nervous twinges as I went to approach the various women. I started getting really self concious. Would people see me asking all these random women the time? Would somebody notice that I was beelining directly for cute gals to get the time. As I got to about the 14th I started to hear a negative voice in my head saying maybe I should put it off, there wasn't enough time etc. excuses basically. Then I pushed through and got like 5 in an instant. Started to waver again as the quality slightly reduced. Finally aorund 25 I started hearing a positive voice in me head telling me to go for it, knock em dead, etc. Then for my final gal I decided I wanted someone really fit and I saw this blonde chick that is always walking around my town on her lunch break also. I had the following internal dialogue I remember word for word.
Shes gone past, too late,
I will kick myself if I dont just go approach,
Well it's too late there will be others anyway.
Oh for fcuk sake just go.
And to that I started jogging back down the street in her direction. Had to go about 30-40 metres before I caught up with her and then I asked her the time, threw in some dialogue about how I was running late and she hooked in that she was also. I ejected here and I was actually running late but I was so fcuking proud for chasing her down. This girl that I've been eyeing up for weeks. Day one complete and it feels fcuking great. I know this is piss compared to some stuff I'm going to have to do but hey that's life and I want to live it so here I come...
Time 18:55
OK so today I started Demonic Confidence. I had the first task of asking 30 women the time so I decided to make them attractive women as thats who I want the confidence with. It was actually harder than I thought to find enough women I would want to sleep with from the outset in my lunch break, many today were too old. At the start it was a bit spaced out and I was getting nervous twinges as I went to approach the various women. I started getting really self concious. Would people see me asking all these random women the time? Would somebody notice that I was beelining directly for cute gals to get the time. As I got to about the 14th I started to hear a negative voice in my head saying maybe I should put it off, there wasn't enough time etc. excuses basically. Then I pushed through and got like 5 in an instant. Started to waver again as the quality slightly reduced. Finally aorund 25 I started hearing a positive voice in me head telling me to go for it, knock em dead, etc. Then for my final gal I decided I wanted someone really fit and I saw this blonde chick that is always walking around my town on her lunch break also. I had the following internal dialogue I remember word for word.
Shes gone past, too late,
I will kick myself if I dont just go approach,
Well it's too late there will be others anyway.
Oh for fcuk sake just go.
And to that I started jogging back down the street in her direction. Had to go about 30-40 metres before I caught up with her and then I asked her the time, threw in some dialogue about how I was running late and she hooked in that she was also. I ejected here and I was actually running late but I was so fcuking proud for chasing her down. This girl that I've been eyeing up for weeks. Day one complete and it feels fcuking great. I know this is piss compared to some stuff I'm going to have to do but hey that's life and I want to live it so here I come...
Welcome to my world...
Ok, so inspired by another blog on the same matter I decided to set up my own as a kind pf pulic log of my doings on the way to Demonic confidence and master pu-artistry. At this point I am on Day 5 of a program called Demonic confidence that used to be sold by Archersloan. I believe it can be found still loitering in distant corners of the internet. What follows today and also the over the next 16 days will be the report of my developments.
I've had issues approaching women in my life and turning encounters into sexual relationships. Don't get me wrong I've been with a few girls but I want to be able to step out at any moment anywhere and take thier breath away, right now they mainly take mine and I stumble a few words out in response :P I've got the rest of my life to live so I may as well enjoy it.
I've had issues approaching women in my life and turning encounters into sexual relationships. Don't get me wrong I've been with a few girls but I want to be able to step out at any moment anywhere and take thier breath away, right now they mainly take mine and I stumble a few words out in response :P I've got the rest of my life to live so I may as well enjoy it.
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